May 10th, 2007
|04:13 pm - nibble nibble. chomp chomp.|
"Such a pack-rat" my mother always gripes to me. "You never throw anything away". For years, I vehemently disagreed with her. Until last week. As I plopped down into an ocean of blues and greens while sorting my laundry, I swam around my mind and then it hit me! It is true, everything she says. I gaze around my house in amazement at all of the trinkets and do-dads I have strategically placed-yet somehow everything looks so chaotic. Realization is vital, but action is something quite different. Why have I stored so many articles that are of no use to me anymore? Clothes that don't fit, figurines that are broken..items that serve no function any longer, yet I hold on to them in hopes that "someday" I "might" need them.
I am graduating college this week, and I must say I am very proud of my accomplishments. I will be leaving this university with a great GPA, and moving to San Diego to work for Neiman Marcus. This job offer is a dream come true. I will be immersed in a culture i have admired from afar for so long, how intoxicating. To be an independant, educated women has always been my inspiration. I will train to be a buyer for couture; however I fully plan to return to graduate school to obtain my MBA. The process was tedious at times, and interviewing for a career is perhaps the most stressful endeavor I have experienced thus far.
Some people say I have changed, and I can't disagree with them. However, in attempts to disencumber myself from the assets I have stored away for so long, I am grateful that change has been a part of my life. Some of the people in my life did not withstand the lifetime guarantee I thought they might. Some have stained, others simply did not fit any longer. And thus I have realized that, if you are in the same place now that you were in your teen years, some contemplation is in order. Those who say I have changed are floundering in stagnant water, where the gnats are praying, eating them alive. To those who say this, I say "why thank you, it seems as though you have stayed exactly.the.same" que lastima.
Amidst those I have chosen to let go of, some I regret, some I miss. But most...nah. I made a conscious decision to leave a dead end and surround myself with some of the most successful people I could find. I needed a challenge, to be intimidated, pushed out of my comfort zone. These friends have become my inspiration, and because of them, I have succeeded as well.
Call it conformity of the masses, but academia is a beautiful tool. Expanding one's knowledge is empowering and refreshing. Change is not a sign of weakness; rather it is vital to living. Letting things go is what frees you. Some say how blasé, to become a corporate tool of sorts. However, I am not enslaving myself. I will dip my feet, and if the water is too cold, I will walk away. At least I tried, more than those so swift to judge.
And so, this pack rat is moving on. Throwing away much of her unneeded morsels, embracing the new, bitter-sweet cheeses that life have to offer elsewhere. And upon eventually returning to this old nesting ground, she is assured that many of those she used to know, will be nibbling in the exact same bar, with the exact same pack, as was when she had left.
Current Mood: relieved
September 11th, 2006
Upon Some Serious Homework Procrastination, I Have Decided To Do A Little LiveJournal Nurturing, Seeing As I Have Ignored My Little Baby For Well Over Half A Year. My Birthday Is Next Week, All That Means Is Now I Can Begin My Binge Wine (White) Drinking And Check Into An AA That Much Sooner, Hopefully Bree Could Identify. After that whole Graduating Thing In May, I Will Intern For Some NFL Team, Where-after I Will Journey To New Yawk To Bang Down Lizzie Grubman's Door In Demands For A Fab PR Job. Us Lizzie's Have To Stick Together. Everything Is Swimming, Life Is Grand. Love Is Great. In The Upcoming Months I Will Partake In The Following Adventures-
-Tomar Mas Picturas
-Stained Glass Classes
-Belly Dansing On Wed. With Lots Of Friends
-More Sewing Time
Other Than That, I Will Kiss My Dog And Play Football With My Boyfriend.
Until Next Year (Literally)-.
December 12th, 2005
|10:53 pm - Kitties and Puppies(!) OH MY|
I luff the way this skin fits, seriously...love this silly little life of mine.
Some "friends" are jokes, and that's what really grinds my gears. But nevermind those turkeys.
.Until Next Year.
Current Mood: grateful
Current Music: The Stills-Gender Bombs
June 1st, 2005
|04:19 pm - How Precious Are You???|
Is it wrong to say I think she'd be..cuter..WITH the mermaid syndrome
Miss Canada.. EW! Puerto Rico was wayyy better. Just goes to show that the only good things to come out of Canada are bacon.. and of course, le nicole santa cruz's dad.
May 20th, 2005
|12:00 am - The O.C.|
Wow.Wow.Wow.Wow. That's all I have to say. Malibu Mango made it all the more heart-pattering.
One A and 4 B's.. Considering what a whirlwind of a semestre I have had.. I s'pose I could have done worse. R.I.P. 4.0.
Days are passing slow. I am in a rut.
Phoenix soon, I miss the grrrls.
I Always love my life. Even when I don't Like It Very Much.
Current Mood: Oceanic
Current Music: Efterklang
May 5th, 2005
|09:42 pm - Elbows on the table|
What is in a name? Is it the vowels, the stringing togeter of am's or th's? or maybe it's just the way it sounds when she's underneath you; legs trembling, in your ear kind of girl. That's what I am. Talk to me, I'll drown you out. tell you to go home. I dont really care all that much...
I'm taking a lingustics course,and perhaps it is that all my life I've experienced a communication barrier with all of those pretty fools around me. That's all we are really... pretty, pretty little fools.
March 31st, 2005
I Pulled this from the Liz Stern Archives.. I find that, though I am now a few sizes smaller, every word still fits.
. And then I think.
It's like spumoni ice cream. So appealing and colorful! a happy little ice cream really. So vonderful I get 2 scoops (when I really know I only need one). One scoop would satiate my sniffling tummy, but we as animals always want more. We always want two scoops in life. After a few bites here and there, the novelty wears off, and my tummy is quite hot and bothered with me. !But. me. I still eat that last scoop. Because its there, and I should eat it (small children in Africa come into my brain right about here). And most importantly, because I can. That ice cream is there and I can do whatever I want! And then at the end of my session I have eaten all this ice cream that once seemed so rich and tempting; I eat it and all I have to show for it is a rowdy stomach and some spots on my white camisole. I took and took and took and it all blows up in your face and the end. The ice cream, the lovers, the hearts.
But then I think.
I am me. Strong independent get out my way kind of girl.
Or am I?
I still want someone to tell me they love me to reassure myself.
I still get blushy cheeked when someone sees me singing in my car.
I still have my piece of paper documenting the full name and exact birthday of every stuffed animal I ever owned.
I still prefer cartwheels to walking.
Who am I to say what the hell I am. Or who I am. We make our own destiny, but do we really make it? Or do we just keep falling here and there along a path of mistakes and finally stumble upon our destiny? A nine to five with a wrist brace and clinched teeth? And I always promised myself I would never be that. I'd never be "that guy" who worried so much. But here I am with sawed off nails and a cup of coffee in my hand shaking away at the computer. It's quite sad really. So I'm going to get up, PUT THE COFFEE down, hug my puppy, go running, hang out with my friends ... and smile. because you know what. I am the spumoni of my own life. I have it all right there, and I can eat as much of it as I want.
I've lost all emotions, I hope I find them soon.
Current Mood: relentless
March 5th, 2005
|02:29 pm - Busy Busy Busy, this was a STOLEN survey *shh*|
10 Random Things about Me
1. Vivacious, so I’m told
2. Sensitive teeth
3. Phat ass
4. Wicked Michael Jackson circa Jackson 5 impression
5. Allergic to aspirin
6. Chicken arms
7. Obnoxious drunk
8. Luffs basketball
9. Partay Queen
10. Prefers black to white
Things that will win my heart
1. Dark hair
3. Anything stuffed
4. Anything cooked
5. puppies and baby nematodes
6. Mizz Sophia Loren and Scotty Ward combo
7. Genuine lads
8. North’s 1.50 you call its
9. Tom Petty, The Cars, Journey and Leonard Cohen
8 Things that I want to do before I die
1. Fly a plane
2. write a book
3. Learn love, loss, and everything found in-between
4. Put random letters on people’s porches wishing them a swank life
5. buy a baby seal
6. Live in the “big city”
7. Leave the “big city”
8. smile, and smile, and smile
7 Things that annoy me
1. Shitty drinks
2. Shitty people
3. Jealous, immature girls
4. exxxpensive clothes I desire sooo
5. When my puppy chews up my fav stilettos
6. When people can’t admit their wrongdoings
7. fingers in my belly button
6 Things I believe in
1. My puppy, both of them
3. Richard Nixon in the afterlife
4. My father’s brilliant mind
5. Cream’s reunion tour
6. All of my beautiful, smart, classy, grrrls
5 Things I miss
2. My Grandpa
3. All the ladies in Phoenix
4. Playing restaurant
4 things I am thankful for
3 Things I do everyday
2. Drink entirely too much
3. Bite my nails over self induced stress
2 Things I want to do right now
1. Go to bisenwitches with the doods, drink some burrs, and watch U of A trample ASU
2. Paint my nails
1 person I want to see right now
1. Mi papa
EDIT: I need to stop going out so much
Current Mood: Go ninja Go Ninja Go!
Current Music: Hank Williams
February 26th, 2005
|12:07 pm - ZERG RUSH!|
In The Past Week I:
-got fired (THANK GOD!) from campus magazine because I refused to do the VERY SUGGESTIVE swimsuit cover.
-have still been hacking, sneezing, stuffy head booger face.
-watched Scott smash a 10 lb cockroach
-Saw my husband salim stoudamier, ran over to him, realized it was him, and then proceeded to run back across the street. Next time, next time
-watched my roommate puke into her purse
-had a broken heart that Brooke went on a date with husband number 2... Channing Frye *sniff*
-bought a referee outfit for gamma beta ekreklsklmn-nana sports party
-got my bum thrown out of Omallys for being visibly drunk... however i do not remember this.
-laughed a lot in my classes and in my car
Life is Fleeting,
Current Mood: flushed