May 10th, 2007
|04:13 pm - nibble nibble. chomp chomp.|
"Such a pack-rat" my mother always gripes to me. "You never throw anything away". For years, I vehemently disagreed with her. Until last week. As I plopped down into an ocean of blues and greens while sorting my laundry, I swam around my mind and then it hit me! It is true, everything she says. I gaze around my house in amazement at all of the trinkets and do-dads I have strategically placed-yet somehow everything looks so chaotic. Realization is vital, but action is something quite different. Why have I stored so many articles that are of no use to me anymore? Clothes that don't fit, figurines that are broken..items that serve no function any longer, yet I hold on to them in hopes that "someday" I "might" need them.
I am graduating college this week, and I must say I am very proud of my accomplishments. I will be leaving this university with a great GPA, and moving to San Diego to work for Neiman Marcus. This job offer is a dream come true. I will be immersed in a culture i have admired from afar for so long, how intoxicating. To be an independant, educated women has always been my inspiration. I will train to be a buyer for couture; however I fully plan to return to graduate school to obtain my MBA. The process was tedious at times, and interviewing for a career is perhaps the most stressful endeavor I have experienced thus far.
Some people say I have changed, and I can't disagree with them. However, in attempts to disencumber myself from the assets I have stored away for so long, I am grateful that change has been a part of my life. Some of the people in my life did not withstand the lifetime guarantee I thought they might. Some have stained, others simply did not fit any longer. And thus I have realized that, if you are in the same place now that you were in your teen years, some contemplation is in order. Those who say I have changed are floundering in stagnant water, where the gnats are praying, eating them alive. To those who say this, I say "why thank you, it seems as though you have stayed exactly.the.same" que lastima.
Amidst those I have chosen to let go of, some I regret, some I miss. But most...nah. I made a conscious decision to leave a dead end and surround myself with some of the most successful people I could find. I needed a challenge, to be intimidated, pushed out of my comfort zone. These friends have become my inspiration, and because of them, I have succeeded as well.
Call it conformity of the masses, but academia is a beautiful tool. Expanding one's knowledge is empowering and refreshing. Change is not a sign of weakness; rather it is vital to living. Letting things go is what frees you. Some say how blasé, to become a corporate tool of sorts. However, I am not enslaving myself. I will dip my feet, and if the water is too cold, I will walk away. At least I tried, more than those so swift to judge.
And so, this pack rat is moving on. Throwing away much of her unneeded morsels, embracing the new, bitter-sweet cheeses that life have to offer elsewhere. And upon eventually returning to this old nesting ground, she is assured that many of those she used to know, will be nibbling in the exact same bar, with the exact same pack, as was when she had left.
Current Mood: relieved
congratulations darling! i'm so excited for you, the whole neiman marcus thing sound amazing.